The New Mom and her Mia
posted by Mia's Mama at
10:25 PM
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Wednesday, May 25, 2005
It REALLY DOES get better! (For new mom's in the first month of their baby's life)
While talking to a new mom (newer than me by 11 weeks) I realized how much had changed over the past 14 weeks since my daughter Mia was born. My friend's baby is 3 weeks old now and she was feeling very drained when we spoke on the phone today. Her complaints about her husband and about her fatigue brought back those memories of that trying first month like a huge wave crashing over my head.I remember the first month with Mia was quite draining. She needed a REAL feeding every 2 or 3 hours and I couldn't just roll over and feed her like I do now. Instead, I had to sit up in bed and get propped up, get my pillows comfy, get Mia comfy, and THEN feed her. It took forever--THEN, when I was done breastfeeding her, I had to get up and make her a bottle supplement because I wasn't making enough milk (actually, my husband often made the bottles for me). By the time I was done feeding and changing Mia, 1-2 hours had passed and she was practically ready for another feeding. During the day, she never let me put her down! I had to carry her everywhere--even to the toilet. Mia is a "high needs" child (as the child specialist and pediatrician Dr. William Sears would refer to a child with her qualities). Mia craved physical contact at all times and my arms really got strong from all that work. BUT, things really do change in just a matter of weeks.
Today, Mia goes to sleep around 7:30 or 8 and doesn't wake until between 12:30 and 2. At that point all she usually needs is a diaper change and sometimes she just needs to be held for a minute or two and then back to bed. Lately, she hasn't even needed diaper changes in the night! If she gets hungry during the night (which might happen only once) I lay her next to me and feed her while I sleep! She then sleeps until 8:30 or 9 the next day! During the day, Mia is pretty easily entertained. She plays in her play gym (Gymini), she swings on her swing, she plays with her different rattles, she even sits in her high chair and watches me cook! See how much they change in just a few weeks!?!?
Still, I rarely get to shower, and I still pee holding her sometimes. She often fusses all afternoon from colic and of course, I seem to be the only one who can sooth her. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on me to be alert, aware, and "on" at the most tiring part of the day. I'm not ALWAYS told how appreciated I am, but I know that I'm important and that my husband does appreciate all that I do for him and for Mia. The balance is off--it always seems to be that way for moms--especially the ones who breast feed. BUT, just know that you are part of a wonderful group of women who LOVE and CARE tremendously for their babies. You are doing the MOST important job that anyone could ever do (and you're doing it well!!). Mom's sacrifice themselves for a while and it really does stink. But, by the time your baby is 2 months old, she'll be smiling at you every time she wakes up, and then she'll laugh as you tickle her belly or make a funny face. And then, you'll know, that as hard as you work, and as long as your days and nights are, that it was all worth it. She'll worship the ground you walk upon and you'll be the center of her universe and SHE WILL BE YOURS as well. No one will love you like she does and no one will ever need you more. It'll be worth it and believe me, you'll start to forget the hardest days (the first month). This mom thing will get to be second nature in no time. Soon, you'll be holding a piece of pizza in one hand and changing your baby's diaper with the other!!!! BELIEVE IT!
When I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends and that all my hard work will never cease, I try and keep in mind a wise phrase I read in Dr. William Sears book about attachment. He said, "You can put your time in at one end of your child's life or at the other. Translation: A convenient baby may well become an inconvenient teenager." It's all worth while and it really DOES get better!
Today, Mia goes to sleep around 7:30 or 8 and doesn't wake until between 12:30 and 2. At that point all she usually needs is a diaper change and sometimes she just needs to be held for a minute or two and then back to bed. Lately, she hasn't even needed diaper changes in the night! If she gets hungry during the night (which might happen only once) I lay her next to me and feed her while I sleep! She then sleeps until 8:30 or 9 the next day! During the day, Mia is pretty easily entertained. She plays in her play gym (Gymini), she swings on her swing, she plays with her different rattles, she even sits in her high chair and watches me cook! See how much they change in just a few weeks!?!?
Still, I rarely get to shower, and I still pee holding her sometimes. She often fusses all afternoon from colic and of course, I seem to be the only one who can sooth her. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on me to be alert, aware, and "on" at the most tiring part of the day. I'm not ALWAYS told how appreciated I am, but I know that I'm important and that my husband does appreciate all that I do for him and for Mia. The balance is off--it always seems to be that way for moms--especially the ones who breast feed. BUT, just know that you are part of a wonderful group of women who LOVE and CARE tremendously for their babies. You are doing the MOST important job that anyone could ever do (and you're doing it well!!). Mom's sacrifice themselves for a while and it really does stink. But, by the time your baby is 2 months old, she'll be smiling at you every time she wakes up, and then she'll laugh as you tickle her belly or make a funny face. And then, you'll know, that as hard as you work, and as long as your days and nights are, that it was all worth it. She'll worship the ground you walk upon and you'll be the center of her universe and SHE WILL BE YOURS as well. No one will love you like she does and no one will ever need you more. It'll be worth it and believe me, you'll start to forget the hardest days (the first month). This mom thing will get to be second nature in no time. Soon, you'll be holding a piece of pizza in one hand and changing your baby's diaper with the other!!!! BELIEVE IT!
When I feel like I'm burning the candle at both ends and that all my hard work will never cease, I try and keep in mind a wise phrase I read in Dr. William Sears book about attachment. He said, "You can put your time in at one end of your child's life or at the other. Translation: A convenient baby may well become an inconvenient teenager." It's all worth while and it really DOES get better!
posted by Mia's Mama at
10:02 PM
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